Years ago Dan began a special service at McKnight Church that eventually evolved into a tradition we called Family Christmas Communion.

I vividly remember the first celebration. It was the last Sunday before Christmas; the church was dark except for soft December sunlight filtering through the stained windows and one single floodlight streaming down on the elements. The most interesting thing happened as the minutes progressed; big kids who normally sat at the very back of the church began silently migrating to join their parents.

Each family quietly took their turn gathering at the front of the church; sitting in chairs positioned around a table simply set with an earthen pitcher of juice and a napkin-wrapped long loaf of crusty bread.

Dan led each group through the partaking of the elements representing Jesus’ sacrifice for each of us; and, when finished, he gave each family a special “word”. Each family received a different word; then joined hands around the table while he prayed God’s blessing of their word, on their family, for the coming year.

It was an amazingly moving service. Louise, always able to articulate feelings so succinctly, told me later that she’d gone home and told Harold, “I could die this afternoon and be perfectly happy”. I suspected Harold wondered exactly what had transpired at church that morning, but he’d loved Louise for a long time so probably didn’t think a thing of it.

I miss that celebration service and receiving a special word; but know, beyond any shadow of doubt, that it was only a shadowy glimpse of heaven’s glorious on-going celebration.

My goal is to always notice and celebrate God’s little criss-crosses of events as I actively seek for joy. Last week Facebook had a survey item thing where you type in your name and then it gives you your word for 2016.

I wasn’t a bit surprised to see that mine was “joy”.

I pray that God, the source of hope,

will fill you completely with joy and peace

because you trust in him.

Then you will overflow with confident hope

through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

Faith Cora came to visit yesterday morning; she snacked on Veggie Straws & wild-colored goldfish while we sat at the kitchen table and talked.

I told her that it was the last day of the year 2015 and that tomorrow would be the first day of the New Year 2016. She nodded, munched, and listened. I told her that, at the end of every old year, Papa Dan and I would sit down and talk about what we wanted to do during the next year.

She nodded and kept on munching; then I asked her what she thought she might want to do in the New Year. She considered for a moment and said, “I will want to play”. I said I thought that was a good idea and asked if she could think of anything else she might want to do.

She pondered for a while and said, “Well, I will want to eat because I will probably be hungry”. I agreed that that too was a very good thing.

Evidently Faith Cora and I think alike because those are two things that I really want to do in the New Year also; and I’m thinking we can probably do them together sometimes.

After we’d exhausted our New Year’s conversation, we moved on to other topics. She’s still firmly settled on “Chair Leaf” as the right name for her February arriving brother; but I inquired if she, Mommy & Day had even talked about any other names for him. She gazed out the kitchen window for a long minute, then turned back, fixed her eyes on me, and said, “Well, I haven’t thought of any nicknames yet”.

Well, all-righty then; Chair Leaf it is.

A good name is more desirable than great wealth.

Respect is better than silver or gold.

Proverbs 22:1

I think the 10:20 pm viewing of Star Wars, following 72 family members Christmas partying at my house, was likely the tipping point; and it pains me a little to admit that I might be too old to hang out with my son and nephews till 1:00 am.

I know there’s a limit as to how far I should deplete my energy; I’m just not very good at observing it. Dan used to say that when he was really really tired, he knew to go rest; but that when I was really really tired, I’d just go and do something else. It makes me smile to remember that; and it also makes me wonder, if I’m possibly a slow learner.

So I ended up at my doctor’s office twice—once before Christmas and once afterwards. One good thing that has developed over the past few years is that I have little to no reluctance to mention God and faith in any conversation with anybody.

So I was pleased that, in addition to discussing my pneumonia, pleurisy and strained rib muscles, we talked a little about God. I took him a copy of “Yawning At Tigers”, one of my 2015 favorites; the book’s subtitle “You Can’t Tame God, SO STOP TRYING” says it all.

His observation that “the God we serve is too big to be contained in any book, even the Bible”, made me think. While God isn’t contained by anyone or anything or any circumstance, he can readily be found by anyone anywhere at any time; and just how cool is that?

Yours, O LORD, is the greatness,

the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty.

Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O LORD,

and this is your kingdom.

We adore you as the one who is over all things.

1 Chronicles 29:11

Dear Self,

The Christmas season has always brought mixed emotions to me; and I sat outside moon watching and thinking about things for a long time on Christmas night. After Dan was killed, one of the hardest differences for me was the abrupt cut-off of laughter. It felt as if all joy had been sucked out of my life and I was suffocating without it; and its ugly absence glared at me constantly for a long long long time. I couldn’t make the grief disappear and the waiting was hard. Laughter and joy have returned this past year; and I’m much more acutely sensitive to it, and life’s, fragility. No guarantees of anything on this earthly ball outside of God; and I am SO incredibly thankful for living roots in him.

Christmas was truly good; lots of goofy silly games and tons of laughter. This year it was ever so much more genuine for me than the last several; and thereby, infinitely more precious.

I hosted the extended family Christmas party that Dan and I did for years and years. Had 72 people here at my house…renewed old and created lots of new fun memories with my cousins and all our kids and grandkids. Joshua and April were both thrilled that I resumed the tradition. At evening’s end, Kaden, a cousin’s 11 yr old grandson grinned up at me and softly said, “I liked your party. It was lots of fun”. No better praise to be found—perfect party cap for me.

At year’s end, Dan & I’d usually talk about what we hoped to see in the New Year coming. One of my current thoughts–I love writing and am anticipating much joy from it this next year.

Working to live genuinely in each moment,

Self

She is clothed with strength and dignity,

and she laughs without fear of the future.

Proverbs 31:25

The 2015 Christmas Morning

Screaming Flying Monkeys Olympic Event

(no clear champions 🙂 )

Let me lead you Jan.

Go out in joy

and be led forth with peace.

Isaiah 55:12

This week’s verse; and I absolutely love it!

My daughter-in-law Jessie gave me a small mason jar for Christmas—filled to the brim with 52 small slips of folded paper—each one containing a verse of Scripture personalized for me.

Years ago I heard Becky Teribassi speak at a women’s conference and returned home with her book “Let Prayer Change Your Life” plus cassette tapes of her material. One of her suggestions on knowing God better was to personalize your way through the Psalms. I took the challenge and every day would re-write some verses, sometimes an entire chapter, substituting “me, my, mine, I, Jan” wherever appropriate. It created incredibly intimate fellowship moments with God.

I haven’t a clue what the rest of Jessie’s verses for me will be, but fully anticipate they will create as much joy in my spirit as this one; and I’m honored by the love gifts of her time and energy she used to bring it to me.

I love you, Jess.