In order to eventually be healthy, I knew that I’d have to be honest with my grief. That didn’t make everyone around me comfortable; but to be truthful, the crushing heaviness of grief doesn’t allow much room for patience with those who are ignorant because they haven’t yet walked the path.

Huge life-changing loss isn’t something you ever get over—but it is something you can eventually get past. In the beginning it’s measured by less of the bad, but in time can be measured by more of the good.

It’s been four years now; and I’ve thought some about people I’ve known who’ve hanged on to grief and worn it as their life’s cloak. That would be easy enough to do, but it’s sure not appealing. So in the same deliberate way that I made myself be honest with grief, I’m making myself be honest about finding joy in living again.

Someone brand new on the path-nobody-wants-to-walk asked me the other day, “So…how is it after four years”?

My answer: it’s better; and this year I can honestly say that I feel happy again. I smile more and laugh; and my best friend, who has known me since we were 12 years old, says the lilt is back in my voice.

I’m unabashedly aware that I’ve not gotten here under my own strength. I won’t have a clue until I get to heaven, and can ask my Abba Father, just how many people have prayed for me; but I know it’s an enormous number. And I am eternally grateful to each and every one of you.

Job 8:21 was one of my Scripture on the go verses years ago, for the Sunday school class I taught and loved; and the tiny little slip of paper has been in my Bible for a long time. I’d read it periodically and trust it would eventually be true for me; and now, for today, it is.

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter

and your lips with shouts of joy.

Job 8:21